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Last week, we read about another tragedy involving a young adult. A 22 year old in Santa Barbara killed his roommates and then three young women outside of a sorority before killing himself. A month earlier, a teenage boy in Connecticut stabbed and killed a teenage girl in his school.
I know. It’s very upsetting when we hear about these gruesome stories. All parents imagine their child as the victim. It’s terrifying and our hearts go out to the families of the victims. All of us wonder, what can be done to protect our children?
What makes it all very confusing is the... Read More
When I was growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, education was entirely focused on learning basic academic skills. As a card-carrying member of the Sputnik generation, school was very competitive. The space race with the Soviet Union resulted in teachers trying to cram students with facts, like stuffing a turkey on thanksgiving.
But in the last decade, educators realized that academic knowledge alone does not predict success in life or result in high performance at work.
In today’s world, most work is performed in “teams” where social and emotional intelligence are an integral... Read More
There is no doubt that women struggle the most with work/life balance issues. But this is becoming a growing issue for men too. The Pew Research Center found that since 1965, men have tripled the time they spend with children. In the last decade, the number of stay at home dads has doubled. With the recent economic downturn, more middle-aged men have lost their jobs than ever before. The net result—many of these men are at home while their wives work. It’s a changing world.
Don’t get me wrong. In my opinion, working women have the lion’s share of this challenge. According to a... Read More
I’m always amazed how many parents drag their teens in to see me in May and early June. Their concerns are always the same—“Joey is getting D’s and F’s. What should we do?” I see a ton of 9th graders. They had a bad first term and an even worse second term. Their parents decide to bring them over in May. I have to give them bad news—it’s too late to salvage the semester.
I think that there are many factors that contribute to this problem. Children are the original optimists. After a spotty first semester, they promise to work harder next
semester! They are sure that they... Read More
While most parents are naturally concerned about their children becoming successful adults, we are more concerned about our kids becoming kind, compassionate and helpful. Indeed, most social surveys across the world show that parents want their kids to be caring and kind over material achievement.
Apparently, like most parents, I was very concerned with my children’s moral development. I wanted them to be compassionate towards others, caring and kind. But how do we accomplish this “hard to measure” goal?
When my youngest daughter was in middle school, both my wife and I... Read More
During our tenure in the parenting business (believe it not, while you never stop from being your kids parent, you do, hopefully, let go of the parenting role), we are always coaching our children. “Remember to brush your teeth, make your bed, say please, thank you, your welcome, wipe your feet, wash you hands, comb your hair, make your bed, clean up after yourself”—the list is endless. A large part of parenting involves socializing your children into our culture, teaching them the basics, and helping them develop good habits. When they are little, it’s amazing how frequently we have to... Read More
It’s hard not to go to a restaurant today and see adults and kids sitting around a table, each with a smart phone at the ready. They steal glances at email posts, and respond instantly to the scores of texts that their friends send daily. Some teens are so expert that they can talk, walk, text, and eat at the same time!
When my kids were little, we didn’t have smart phones or tablets. I was a big newspaper reader however. I would sit in my easy chair after dinner reading one of my papers. My youngest daughter would march over to me and knock the newspaper out of my hands and yell—“I... Read More
Why is it so hard to listen to what our kids are telling us? Why is that we want to tell them what to do, how to do it, and what not to do? It just seems so clear to us in the moment. Stop yelling! Stop bothering your little sister! Clean up your mess! Don’t worry about what your friend did! You’re so messy! You’re always tracking mud into the kitchen! We have a long list of “to do’s” and an even longer list of “don’t do’s”.
But all too often, these prescriptions fall on deaf ears. Our kids just don’t get it. How come?
I am always drawn back to the work of Adele Faber and... Read More
This is a guest blog from James Dauer, Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Mr. Dauer sees Behavioral Health patients at our Smokey Point location.
Not being able to help your struggling child is one of the hardest parts about being a parent, and when that struggle is self-inflicted, endless waves of feeling powerless and scared roll in one after another. Not a fun place to be!
Some parents have heard about cutting through various media but to others this subject is about as familiar as intergalactic... Read More