Family Talk Blog

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Learning to be more honest with others

Dr. Paul | November 15, 2019 |

I saw a comedy recently that reminded me of something serious. The movie, “Late Night” starring Emma Thompson, is a story of a comic who is about to be replaced because her show has become stale. Why? Because she was no longer being herself, but instead was trying to please others. She didn't take any risks. Over time, her ratings declined.

In real life, honesty, authenticity, and direct communication can be undervalued, especially in our Northwest culture. How often do friends and co-workers tell you exactly what they think? More often than not, our local culture values indirect... Read More

Beating the seasonal blues

Dr. Paul | November 04, 2019 |

Autumn has arrived. Summer in the Northwest is everyone’s favorite season. The sky is a deep blue and the sun shines. We all look back at those lazy, bright days of summer with warm nostalgia.

I love the long days of summer. On July 4th, we have almost 16 hours of daylight. The sun rises around 5:15 a.m. and sets at 9:10 p.m. The western sky is lit until almost 10 p.m. It’s tough to get kids to bed in the summer and they’re up with the birds. The summer sun feeds our Northwest spirit.

But by October 15th, we only have around 10 hours and 50 minutes of daylight. The sun rises... Read More

Learning the meaning of real wealth

Dr. Paul | October 18, 2019 |

I spent my teenage years in New York City. My parents divorced when I was 13 years old and we moved to the city from the suburbs. I lived with my mother. She worked two jobs for several years, as did my father, to help pay for my brothers’ college tuition. My mother hired a housekeeper, Beulah, to help out while she was working.

I spent a lot of time over those years with Beulah. She and I developed a friendship that lasted decades beyond her working for my mother. She was a remarkable person. She grew up on the Mississippi Delta in abject poverty. She lived in the South Bronx with... Read More

Helping our youth live healthier

Dr. Paul | October 11, 2019 |

A recent 2019 study, reported in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, reviewed a national survey of over 600,000 Americans. Their findings were concerning. The rate of major depression increased by 52% from 2005 to 2017 in teenagers and 63% from 2009 to 2013 for young adults. Serious psychological distress among young adults increased 71% from 2008 to 2017.

They also found that these increases were particularly high for those born in the early 1980’s (Millennials) and in the late 1990’s. They found a generational association with increases in depression, distress, and suicidal... Read More

Spending quality time with your children

Dr. Paul | September 25, 2019 |

When I was growing up, children were sometimes seen but not heard. I remember family camping trips, picnics, and long car rides. Those excursions were warm and loving, but I hardly remember any individual time with either one of my parents.

On Sunday mornings I would drive with my father to the bakery to pick up sweet rolls and fresh bread. Those were special times. On holidays, I remember helping my mother bake her famous apple pie. I loved the smell of baking apples in the warm kitchen.

As the youngest of three boys, I often stayed back with my mom while my older brothers... Read More

Dating as a parent

Dr. Paul | September 17, 2019 |

Jody, 39, is single after 20 years of marriage. Her ex-husband has a gambling and pornography addiction that finally upended their marriage. Jody tried to make it work, mostly for the kids. But over time, she felt neglected, ignored, and lonely. She finally threw in the towel.

Some adults, who marry at a young age, select the wrong person. After all, how well do we know ourselves when we first step onto the adult stage? At 18, I thought I knew everything there was to know. I didn't have any adult life experience, but who needs wisdom when you know everything?

My wife married... Read More

Making peace with passing time

Dr. Paul | September 10, 2019 |

When I was in middle school, I remember watching the big clock in the classroom. Five minutes to the end of the period seemed like an eternity. The second hand inched around the clock face so slowly, I wanted to scream.

On Monday morning, Friday seemed like a lifetime away. Each day crawled towards the weekend. And then, finally, Saturday would arrive. After delivering newspapers, I would lay in my backyard watching the clouds move across the sky, listening to the birds sing. Sleeping over at my best friend’s house seemed to last for days, even though it was just hours. We played... Read More

Helping kids get back to school

Dr. Paul | September 03, 2019 |

Northwest summers, always anticipated and enjoyed, slide into autumn more quickly than anyone would like. The long days shorten, cloudy days stack up, and it gets cooler at night. Don’t be discouraged—We’ll still have some warm, lovely September days.

Now, the new school year is knocking at our door.

When I was a kid, I anticipated school with pleasure. I liked school—it’s predictability and structure. I looked forward to seeing school friends that I didn't see during the summer. I didn't care too much for school shopping—with two older brothers I could count on lots of hand-... Read More

Dealing with an anxiety epidemic

Dr. Paul | August 23, 2019 |

As a child psychologist, I see a growing number of children with anxiety—it’s disheartening. These kiddos are worriers, sleep poorly, and have frequent headaches and stomachaches. They worry about their parents, their future, grades, and their friends. Many of them have a permanent pit in their stomach.

According to the National Institute of Health, between 2007 and 2012, there was a 20% increase in anxiety disorders among children. They estimate that 30% of teenagers suffer from too much anxiety. This is alarming. What’s causing this epidemic of fear and worry?

Unfortunately... Read More

It takes a village

Dr. Paul | August 07, 2019 |

When I was 13 years old, my beloved grandmother, who lived with us, died. Several months later, my parents got divorced—all in the same year.

It was the hardest year in my life. The loss of my grandmother from a sudden heart attack was devastating. She had lived with us since I was 8 years old. A few months later, my parents announced to me that they were getting a divorce.

My parents sold our house and my mother and I moved into an apartment. My older brothers were in college and both of my parents were completely absorbed with their own life crisis. I felt completely alone... Read More

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