You are here

Family Talk Blog

Growing Your Self-Esteem

Dr. Paul | October 18, 2017 |
 
Confident female.

Amy wonders: “What’s my worth?” She measures her income, material wealth, appearance, and weight. She adds it up, subtracts by her age, divides by the size of her family, and multiplies by the value of her house. Out comes the sum of her worth.

Fortunately, net worth has little to do with self-worth. Having it all---good job, beautiful high-performing children, nice home, and respect in the community don't necessarily bring high self- regard. Indeed being “skinny and rich” doesn’t mean that you feel good about yourself either! Instead, self-esteem is elusive. It’s hard to grasp in... Read More

Getting along with difficult co-workers

Dr. Paul | October 11, 2017 |
 
Passive aggresive co workers.

Modern work life requires considerable teamwork. In today’s work world, “team members” work on projects, complete “deliverables”, and work together to improve the customer experience. It’s the new world order.

The good news is that teams are more innovative and high performing than individual output. It’s true—the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. But do modern-day workers have the skills to work together effectively? What about co-workers who are difficult to get along with? What about teammates who are clueless about how they come across to others? And what about... Read More

The horror in Las Vegas

Dr. Paul | October 04, 2017 |
 
Las Vegas strip.

When I first heard about the shooting in Las Vegas, my reaction was muted—“Another shooting”, I sadly thought. But then, on the way home from work, I listened to first-person accounts of the shooting.  As I heard a man describe what happened, I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This event was even worse than I imagined. Joyful concert goers, listening to the music they love, thought they heard fireworks—until they realized that a fusillade of bullets was raining down on their bodies. No more needs to be said. Most of us have either seen or heard this disturbing news.

It’s been... Read More

Recipe for life: Gratitude, resilience, and community

Dr. Paul | September 27, 2017 |
 
Community of friends.

Lately, it’s hard to pick up a newspaper. Hurricanes, one after another, have pounded the Caribbean, Florida, and Texas. Mexico has been beset with earthquakes—hundreds have died. It seems like the earth has been in a state of crisis, taking out its fury on innocent men, women, and children.

It’s easy to experience compassion fatigue. As soon as the new hurricane hit, we didn’t hear much about Houston anymore. But trust me, there are still thousands of people in Texas up to their eyebrows in water logged furniture, walls, and belongings.

What can we learn from these natural... Read More

The First Weeks of School

Dr. Paul | September 20, 2017 |
 
Kids running in the front door.

It’s happening. Kids have made it through the beginning of school with all its excitement and nervousness. Now the pace is quickening, and students are half way to their first progress report! (Help!) Teachers have set the tone for the year and clarified their expectations. They allowed the kids to accelerate slowly into the school year—but now they are up to speed.

Or are they?

After school activities have also begun. School and intramural sports are in high gear—football and soccer season are opening. Kids are getting back into shape after the summer. The days can be long and... Read More

Reflections on Parenthood

Dr. Paul | September 13, 2017 |
 
Parents and kids laughing on counch.

I loved having children.

It’s been one of the high points of my life. I remember when they were babies, and I would hold them close, savoring their baby smell. I remember chasing after them when they were toddlers—they giggled while they ran away from me.  It was fun when they learned to talk too. They had so much to say and so many questions to ask.  Their childhood was a blur of playgrounds, birthday parties, adventures, and just hanging out. Like all parents, I fretted over the usual—how would they turn out, would they have happiness, and would they be safe? While I’m not a... Read More

Alcoholism & Substance Abuse

Dr. Paul | September 06, 2017 |
 
Man with a glass of whiskey.

Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend an Al-anon meeting with a family member. Alcoholism and substance abuse are equal opportunity diseases—they can impact families from all backgrounds. While I’ve recommended Al-anon to scores of my patients over the years, I had never actually attended a meeting myself.

Al-anon is a 12-step program, fashioned after Alcoholics Anonymous, that supports family members of alcoholics. Its goal--help participants find “peace and serenity” in the face of alcoholism and addiction.  Family members can easily fall into co-dependency, where they... Read More

Dr. Paul's Tips: Back to School

Dr. Paul | August 30, 2017 |
 
Back to school tips.

I can’t believe it! The long, warm days of summer are coming to an end. And what a summer! Aside from some days of smoky haze, we had great weather. The long dry spell made up for the long wet winter. But I will still savor the sunny days of September.

For kids and parents, the days before the start of the school year are busy. Families fill the malls with back to school shoppers— buying new clothes, new shoes, and replacements for worn out backpacks. I always loved getting school supplies—new notebooks, pencils, and crayons.

But it’s a stressful time too. While kids are... Read More

Is this who we are?

Dr. Paul | August 23, 2017 |
 
Robert E Lee statue in Charlottesville, VA.

The recent events in Charlottesville were troubling and frightening. The images of adults carrying Nazi and KKK symbols, with weapons, openly in our country, brought back many terrifying memories to those of us that grew up in the fifties and sixties. Segregation in the south was a reality during those years.  Civil rights activists were beaten, arrested, and killed. To take a stand against segregation and for equal rights took enormous courage. A friend of my family was one of the civil rights activists who was killed during that era.

During these demonstrations, I heard one radio... Read More

The Modern Art of Grandparenting

Dr. Paul | August 16, 2017 |
 
Grandparent playing with grandchildren.

Last week, my daughter arrived in Seattle with her husband and her 6-month-old daughter in tow! She is spending two weeks with us, camped out in our bedroom with a “pack and play” crib. Of course, the easiest and most enjoyable part of her visit is holding our granddaughter and watching her put all manner of things in her mouth. Needless to say, she has completely charmed us. We are putty in her hands.

Despite raising two daughter’s ourselves, who turned out perfectly well, we are learning that we didn’t know anything, and by modern standards, were complete idiots. It’s a good thing... Read More

Pages