Family Talk Blog

FamilyTalkBlog_header.jpg

Parents of lost teenagers, don't give up hope

Dr. Paul | January 31, 2018 |

Frustrated adolscent boy holding head in hands.

Several years ago, Joe’s 18-year-old son, Bill, left home without a word. His early adolescence was marked by chronic lying to his parents, drug use, school failure, and defiance. Joe and his wife tried to re-engage with their son. But all they heard from him was tall stories and promises that were never kept. After several years of this same story, they were discouraged, hopeless, and heartbroken. They feared that Bill would never find his way back to his family. They worried that he wouldn’t find his way into a responsible, successful adulthood.

As a psychologist, I see these... Read More

Anxiety in Children

Dr. Paul | January 24, 2018 |

Mental health providers are seeing a growing number of children and teenagers with disabling anxiety. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that fully one-third of teens struggle with significant anxiety!

So many children are plagued with worries. Little kids may worry about something happening to their parents. Teenagers worry about school performance, their social lives, and their future. Current events can trigger a landslide of fear. How can we promise our children that they will be safe in a world that is beset with division and filled with violence? How can we... Read More

Anxiety is a growing problem

Dr. Paul | January 17, 2018 |

It seems to me that anxiety is becoming a more widespread problem among both children and adults. Anxiety disorders are characterized by excessive worry, avoidance, and uncomfortable bodily sensations including pounding heart, muscle tension, dizziness, stomach pain and headaches, sweating, and rapid breathing. These symptoms can become disabling.

In this 21st century, I see far more kids and adults who are beset with chronic worry—about the future, about the world, and about themselves. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 18% of adults can experience these... Read More

Parenting: Reward or Punishment

Dr. Paul | January 10, 2018 |

Children can get themselves into all kinds of mischief.

Taking stuff that doesn’t belong to them, lying, doing things that they know they shouldn’t do, sucker punching their little brother—it’s a long list. Then there is the even longer list of forgetting to do things that they’re supposed to do—making their bed, putting away their toys, and brushing their teeth. So much of parenthood is raising our children to be responsible individuals who are honest, hard-working, reliable, and have good habits. It’s a tough and unrelenting job.

It seems like a completely natural response... Read More

Speak from your heart

Dr. Paul | January 04, 2018 |

Adult couple talking and enjoying themselves.

When I was in my early 40’s, my mother came for a visit. She let me know that she didn’t feel that I acknowledged her birthday. She told me that every year her feelings were hurt. And, she added, she had been feeling this way for many years, but finally decided to tell me. I realized, after some reflection, that she was right. I also realized that my lack of recognition of her had to do with some of my deep feelings that I hadn’t entirely owned.

That day, I went out and bought her a birthday cake (it was months after her birthday) and promised her that I would spend every birthday... Read More

Look ahead to 2018, but look back first.

Dr. Paul | December 27, 2017 |

2018 is upon us—it’s time to look ahead to the New Year. But first, let’s look in the rearview mirror. What were the highlights of 2017? Did you have goals or intentions for this last year? If you did, how did you do? Did you make progress in those areas that you wanted to nurture?

It’s easy to look back with a critical eye. I fell short in a couple of areas. I wanted to change several of my less than desirable eating habits—eating too quickly, eating more than I needed, and grazing after 8 p.m. I started out with strong motivation, but as the year progressed, I returned to my... Read More

Parenthood isn’t the easier job

Dr. Paul | December 20, 2017 |

Very few of us have formal education in parenting. Our main instruction came from the universal course called “Watching our parents 201”. Our parents, in turn, completed their parental training titled—“Watching their parents 101”. Parental strengths and shortcomings pass from generation to generation. Given our lack of family education and support, it’s amazing we do so well!

Today’s moms and dads rely on the internet, which is replete with blogs, advice, and bulletin boards, where parents can learn from the experts and post their unique experiences. It can be overwhelming. Google “... Read More

Lessons from 40 years of marriage

Dr. Paul | December 13, 2017 |

On December 18th, Diane and I will have been married for 40 years! Wow! Where did all that time go? It seems like a lifetime ago that we got married in her parent’s living room, surrounded by family and friends. It was a small, inexpensive wedding by today’s standards. But everyone was as happy and as celebratory as they are at today’s bigger ceremonies.

As I reflect back on these forty years, I have learned a few important lessons that I’d like to share with you. As my wife would agree, I am a slow learner and I can be very stubborn! So anything I do figure out takes me a long time... Read More

Coping with holiday loss

Dr. Paul | December 06, 2017 |

On these gray winter mornings, I like to walk around Green Lake and watch the sun rise. This time of year, I think about my mom’s brief illness and death four years ago, which quickly followed Christmas. It was both a sad and sweet time. I was able to help take care of her and comfort her during her final weeks. On my early morning walks I find myself recalling those last mornings, watching the sun rise from her Florida terrace, listening to the sounds of tropical birds, wondering if each day would be her last. I think about her often.

I miss her terribly.

While the holiday... Read More

Recipe for a joyful holiday

Dr. Paul | November 29, 2017 |

Three children make a mess in the kitchen.

I can always tell when the holidays are around the corner—drivers start to take out all of the slack! Gone are the polite Northwesterner’s who always let someone into their lane. Beware of those four-way stops! It’s everyone for themselves!

For many adults, the holidays are a mixture of sweet, sad, and stressful moments. Here’s my recipe for a rewarding holiday season for yourself and your loved ones.

The Stressful

Family obligations, what to get Uncle Bill this year, not enough money, kid’s constant demands, holiday cards, need to have this be the best Christmas ever, family... Read More

You are here