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Family Talk Blog

Lessons from the Olympics

Boe | February 14, 2018 |
 
Olympic skiier.

I love watching the Olympics! It’s amazing to see these young athletes perform triple toe loops on the ice, aerials on the ski slopes, and unbelievable speed and daring in the downhill. In between watching events, we learn about the competitors, their lives, and how they found their way onto the Olympic stage.

These competitions break down the walls between nations and bring us together for the best of who we can be. And who doesn’t love it when their countrymen and women win gold! It’s a festival of light.

While I can barely remember the strength and power of my youth—I... Read More

Mindful parenting

Dr. Paul | February 07, 2018 |
 
Mother and son doing dishes at kitchen sink.

Becoming a father has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. My daughters and I grew up together.  I studied many chapters in the book of life—patience, cooperation, humility, and gratitude. Now, I’m onto the next chapter—grandparenthood! It’s everything that my friends said it would be--pure pleasure!

Like many parents, I thought about what values I wanted my children to embody. I wanted them to grow up to be happy, successful adults. I hoped that they would be compassionate, kind, honest, and community minded. I wanted them to find meaning and purpose in their adult... Read More

Parents of lost teenagers, don't give up hope

Dr. Paul | January 31, 2018 |
 
Frustrated adolscent boy holding head in hands.

Several years ago, Joe’s 18-year-old son, Bill, left home without a word. His early adolescence was marked by chronic lying to his parents, drug use, school failure, and defiance. Joe and his wife tried to re-engage with their son. But all they heard from him was tall stories and promises that were never kept. After several years of this same story, they were discouraged, hopeless, and heartbroken. They feared that Bill would never find his way back to his family. They worried that he wouldn’t find his way into a responsible, successful adulthood.

As a psychologist, I see these... Read More

Anxiety in Children

Dr. Paul | January 24, 2018 |
 

Mental health providers are seeing a growing number of children and teenagers with disabling anxiety. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that fully one-third of teens struggle with significant anxiety!

So many children are plagued with worries. Little kids may worry about something happening to their parents. Teenagers worry about school performance, their social lives, and their future. Current events can trigger a landslide of fear. How can we promise our children that they will be safe in a world that is beset with division and filled with violence? How can we... Read More

Anxiety is a growing problem

Dr. Paul | January 17, 2018 |
 
Depressed female feeling anxious.

It seems to me that anxiety is becoming a more widespread problem among both children and adults. Anxiety disorders are characterized by excessive worry, avoidance, and uncomfortable bodily sensations including pounding heart, muscle tension, dizziness, stomach pain and headaches, sweating, and rapid breathing. These symptoms can become disabling.

In this 21st century, I see far more kids and adults who are beset with chronic worry—about the future, about the world, and about themselves.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 18% of adults can experience these... Read More

Parenting: Reward or Punishment

Dr. Paul | January 10, 2018 |
 
Happy family sitting on a couch.

Children can get themselves into all kinds of mischief.

Taking stuff that doesn’t belong to them, lying, doing things that they know they shouldn’t do, sucker punching their little brother—it’s a long list. Then there is the even longer list of forgetting to do things that they’re supposed to do—making their bed, putting away their toys, and brushing their teeth. So much of parenthood is raising our children to be responsible individuals who are honest, hard-working, reliable, and have good habits. It’s a tough and unrelenting job.

It seems like a completely natural response... Read More

Speak from your heart

Dr. Paul | January 04, 2018 |
 
Adult couple talking and enjoying themselves.

When I was in my early 40’s, my mother came for a visit. She let me know that she didn’t feel that I acknowledged her birthday. She told me that every year her feelings were hurt. And, she added, she had been feeling this way for many years, but finally decided to tell me. I realized, after some reflection, that she was right. I also realized that my lack of recognition of her had to do with some of my deep feelings that I hadn’t entirely owned.

That day, I went out and bought her a birthday cake (it was months after her birthday) and promised her that I would spend every birthday... Read More

Look ahead to 2018, but look back first.

Dr. Paul | December 27, 2017 |
 
New Year goal setting.

2018 is upon us—it’s time to look ahead to the New Year. But first, let’s look in the rearview mirror.  What were the highlights of 2017? Did you have goals or intentions for this last year? If you did, how did you do? Did you make progress in those areas that you wanted to nurture?

It’s easy to look back with a critical eye. I fell short in a couple of areas. I wanted to change several of my less than desirable eating habits—eating too quickly, eating more than I needed, and grazing after 8 p.m. I started out with strong motivation, but as the year progressed, I returned to my... Read More

Parenthood isn’t the easier job

Dr. Paul | December 20, 2017 |
 
Stressed mother in the kitchen.

Very few of us have formal education in parenting. Our main instruction came from the universal course called “Watching our parents 201”. Our parents, in turn, completed their parental training titled—“Watching their parents 101”. Parental strengths and shortcomings pass from generation to generation. Given our lack of family education and support, it’s amazing we do so well!

Today’s moms and dads rely on the internet, which is replete with blogs, advice, and bulletin boards, where parents can learn from the experts and post their unique experiences. It can be overwhelming. Google “... Read More

Lessons from 40 years of marriage

Dr. Paul | December 13, 2017 |
 
Adult senior couple.

On December 18th, Diane and I will have been married for 40 years! Wow! Where did all that time go? It seems like a lifetime ago that we got married in her parent’s living room, surrounded by family and friends. It was a small, inexpensive wedding by today’s standards. But everyone was as happy and as celebratory as they are at today’s bigger ceremonies.

As I reflect back on these forty years, I have learned a few important lessons that I’d like to share with you. As my wife would agree, I am a slow learner and I can be very stubborn! So anything I do figure out takes me a long time... Read More

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