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Parents and their adult children

Dr. Paul
Adult son with older father.

It’s tough being a parent—even when your children are fully fledged adults.

For so many years, Moms and Dads are involved in every aspect of their youngsters lives—what they eat, when they go to sleep, what they wear, and what they do. The first 18 years comprise the biggest responsibility a person will ever have. I remember the sense of wonder I felt when we brought our first baby home from the hospital. With that awe came the dawning realization-- I was completely responsible for this helpless being. I knew my life would never be the same. And it wasn't. Read more about Parents and their adult children

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Can boredom be useful?

Dr. Paul
Woman bored at her desk.

What do you do when you’re bored? In the 19th century, perhaps you went for a long walk by a flowing river or read a book. In the 20th century, maybe you listened to the radio or watched television. Now, in the 21st century, it’s likely that you flip through your Facebook or Instagram feed. What did Charlie have for dinner last night? Where did Louise go on with her husband? Or perhaps you turn on your computer, grab your joystick, and play— “World of Warcraft” with folks in five different countries. Read more about Can boredom be useful?

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Coping with suicide

Boe
Depressed teen looking in the mirror.

Several days ago I sat with a group of adults who lost a colleague to suicide.  As we talked about his death, several of the group started crying. Despite the passage of time, simply talking about him brought waves of grief. But unlike other causes of death, the group also felt guilt. Why didn't they know how depressed he was? Why didn't they see his pain? Read more about Coping with suicide

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Are we too connected?

Dr. Paul
Social media on mobile device.

Social media and smartphones are a vital part of 21st-century life. Even I, a veteran device scoffer, have a Facebook page, a smartphone, and an iPad. (I draw the line with Twitter!) So, I’m part of the internet revolution, like it or not. My social media life is limited to family and close friends, despite friend requests from colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors, and people I hardly know at all. My main social media interest—pictures of my grandchildren. Read more about Are we too connected?

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Is easy better than hard?

Dr. Paul
Take the easy way or the hard way.

I’m old enough to remember when TV dinners were first introduced in the early 1950s. Wow! They were revolutionary at the time. They were packaged in aluminum plates with little compartments for the turkey, peas, mashed potatoes, and desert. Just throw these pre-cooked, frozen meals in the oven, set them on TV trays, and you could eat a piping hot meal while watching television. And no dishes to wash! What could be better? My mom loved them. Read more about Is easy better than hard?

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Letting go

Dr. Paul
Man enjoying a moment to breathe outdoors.

Today, I am sitting on a beautiful beach in Kauai, soaking up the sun, making up for months of darkness and clouds that our Pacific Northwest brings. Bring on the Vitamin D! Getting out during the winter and finding a sunny spot somewhere is a great pick-me-up during a Northwest winter. Read more about Letting go

The Big Five: Making Relationships Work

Dr. Paul
In January, our Behavioral Health team sees a tsunami wave of couples who held it together over the holidays, and now they’re coming in for help. 
 
Love and living under the same roof are intricate. While love tends to be simpler, cohabitation requires constant communication, negotiation, and trust—all of which can be diminished by vast differences in temperament and personality. 
 
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In-Laws or Outlaws?

Dr. Paul
I was fortunate, my in-laws and I got along famously. Over the years, we became close as we got to know each other. I think they were very happy that I married their daughter. They thought I was a “catch”. I didn't want to disappoint them.
 
My wife wasn't so fortunate. My mother didn't appreciate Diane. Maybe they were too similar—both strong willed and opinionated. Not long after we had children, sparks started to fly. Over the years, it got worse. 
 
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Why are the rates of ADHD diagnosis rising?

Dr. Paul
In the United States, there is concern that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) in children is over diagnosed. The American Psychiatric Association suggests that 5% of children have ADHD, yet the United States Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that up to 11% of children are diagnosed with this condition. And they observe, that 6.1% of children between the ages of 4-17 take medication for the condition. There has been a dramatic increase in the rate of diagnosis and treatment over the last several years. 
 
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Parenting in the New Year

Dr. Paul

No doubt, one of the hardest jobs I ever had was parenting. Of course, once you have kids, you are always a Mom or a Dad.

But during the first 20 plus years of life, parents have huge responsibility—not just to provide for their children but to help them become independent, decent adults.

Finally, when children do become independent, we can sit back and relax a little. But it takes a long time to reach that moment. Read more about Parenting in the New Year

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