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Alcohol dependence

Dr. Paul
photo of pouring drink

Joe has been increasing his alcohol use for several years, and now he’s drinking an entire bottle of wine or more, four to five nights a week. He doesn’t think he’s impaired; after all he’s built up a high tolerance. But his family is angry and embarrassed. Joe doesn’t drink at work, so he doesn’t think he has a problem. “So what if I like to have a couple of glasses of wine at the end of the week or on Saturday night”. He’s not like his uncle and his mother who drank heavily during the day and died from liver failure.  But his family has an entirely different story about his alcohol use. Read more about Alcohol dependence

Losing your cool and how to get it back

Dr. Paul
photo of man yelling

The other night I was tired, hungry, and feeling overwhelmed when I got home from work. It was a long day.  My wife, who had a cold for several days, asked me to do something. I barked back at her.

I felt terrible.

How often do we lose our temper at our children or our spouse? It frequently happens at the end of the day when we are exhausted. The kids ask us to do “one more thing” and we crack. We find ourselves yelling at a little kid, who looks back at us with an innocent, hurt look in his eyes.

We feel like ogres. Read more about Losing your cool and how to get it back

Surviving the myth of the perfect parent

Dr. Paul
photo of mother and daughter reading

When my oldest daughter was 3 years old, I had my first (pre)school conference. The teacher kindly explained to me that my daughter was “shy”, but otherwise was “no problem”. I was stunned.  My entire parental life flashed in front of my eyes. She must be shy because we moved when she was 6 months old. Perhaps I was too strict, or maybe not strict enough? What had I done to make my daughter shy? I must have done something wrong. I was wracked with self-doubt. Read more about Surviving the myth of the perfect parent


Learning from life's pain

Dr. Paul
photo of sad woman

Why me? It’s a natural question when a family member dies before their time, when a relationship ends, or when we lose a job.

At first, we feel stunned. Deep inside, we expect that our lives should unfold uneventfully. We believe that we should be the master of our fate. Tragedy happens to others, but not us.

At the same time, our culture is filled with pictures of happy, satisfied men and women pursuing their dreams. When we are the victims of misfortune, we can feel let down by life. We may feel that something is wrong with us. We may feel that we did something wrong. Read more about Learning from life's pain

Making changes in life: Why is it so hard?

Dr. Paul
photo of woman at computer thinking

How many times have you considered making a change in your life?

Joe doesn’t really like his job much anymore, but it’s secure, pays well and has good benefits. He wants to do something different, but can’t seem to get started.

Sarah wants to start an exercise program. She knows that being so sedentary is bad for her health, and her doctor has encouraged her to go the gym, but she never seems to get there.

Harold wants to take a yoga class, but he feels stuck in the same old daily rut and hasn’t even taken the first step to find out where he can take a class. Read more about Making changes in life: Why is it so hard?


Dr. Paul
photos of chairs on the beach

Every day in the United States, thousands of baby boomers are turning 65. No wonder many of us hear about friends and family that are retiring or at least talking about it. I have several friends that took the big step. Read more about Retirement

Marriage basics 101: Housework

Dr. Paul
photo of woman doing laundry

Remember the big four areas of conflict in marriage? My wife reminds me about the fifth one--the division of household labor, aka housework! Read more about Marriage basics 101: Housework


Adolescent suicide

Dr. Paul
photo of teen girl and woman talking

In the last year, it seems like our community has experienced more than its share of adolescent suicide. Each death tears at us, and brings fear to our hearts. We worry about each and every one of our children. Read more about Adolescent suicide


Marriage basics 101: In-laws

Dr. Paul
people sitting talking

Recall the big four sources of conflict in marriage: Children, sex, money, and in-laws. Today’s blog is on resolving issues related to your relations.

I was very fortunate. I had great in-laws. They liked me immediately, respected me and felt that their daughter was fortunate to find me. I liked them too. They were generous, kind and easy to get along with. Over 30 years, our relationship grew close. Read more about Marriage basics 101: In-laws



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