In this Sunday’s New York Times (2/25/18), Sasha Cohen, the 2006 Figure Skating Olympic Silver medalist, shared the story of her retirement from skating. She spent her childhood and adolescence training for competition. Like all Internationally ranked athletes, her entire life was her sport. But after she stepped off Olympic ice, she was unprepared for her future as an ordinary civilian. She felt lost and uncertain. Michael Phelps, the most decorated swimmer of all time,... Read More
During the post-holiday season, lots of folks try to lose the weight they gained or didn’t lose, this last year. I’m member of this club too. It’s especially challenging with all of those Seahawks game-day gatherings. Those spicy chicken wings are divine!
Despite all of my many efforts, over my adult life, I’m still overweight. Sigh. The comforting news—I’m not alone.
But when I watch TV, read magazines, or go to the movies, all I see are slim, tall, muscular men and women. At my gym, all I see is the parade of slim looking men and women. Unfortunately, I can’t march in... Read More
A couple of weeks ago I met with a group of professionals who were talking about their office. Listening to their discussion, I noted that several of them harbored resentment towards some of their co-workers. “I can’t stand how Joe doesn’t help out, even when it’s obvious that we need him”, Jim quipped. Bill was continually annoyed at a colleague who always had an opinion about everything that Bill did. These feelings just sat in their gut, like a heavy meal they couldn’t digest.
How often do we stuff angry feelings towards co-workers, family members, friends, or relatives? Our... Read More
A friend of mine, Jill, struggles with shame and guilt over several bad choices she made in the last few years. They had major consequences for her career. She’s angry with herself— “How could I have messed things up so badly for myself and my family” she cries. She wakes up every morning feeling bad about herself and it propels her down a rabbit hole of deeper depression and self-reproach. Once she goes there, it’s hard to find her way out.
We all make small mistakes or errors in judgment. Fortunately, most of these choices don’t result in big consequences. But sometimes we make... Read More
I recently returned from two weeks in Greece, lying on a beach in Naxos and Santorini. It was a wonderful vacation. After a week, my pace slowed down, my sense of humor improved, and I rarely thought about work, day to day responsibilities, or future concerns. My cell phone didn’t work and I couldn’t peek at work email. It was glorious.
Of course, it’s easy to be relaxed on vacation! Our daily responsibilities center on the big questions of the day-- what to do, where or what to eat, and how to enjoy ourselves. We... Read More
Like many adults, I easily gain weight and I struggle to lose it. I grew up in a fat family—we were always on some new diet. I remember the 1960’s version of the Atkins diet. We were instructed to eat huge portions of meat, which all of us loved. I don’t remember if we lost any weight, although I am sure that our cholesterol went through the ceiling!
Like most overweight adults, I was fascinated with the reality TV show The Biggest Loser because it turned the arduous task of losing weight into a theatrical contest, like Survivor. Of course, it didn’t hurt to have an army of personal... Read More
Do you struggle with a lack of sexual interest?
In a landmark 2008 study of women in relationships, researchers found that up to 26% of premenopausal women and upwards to 52% of postmenopausal women described symptoms of low sexual desire. Scientists are trying to understand why.
Take Mary—she participated in a research study that tested whether a testosterone patch would improve women’s sexual desire (libido). She suffers from a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder, where she had little interest in sex. Testosterone, thought of as a primarily male sexual... Read More
The number of Adverse or Traumatic Childhood Events (ACE’s) can be predictive of the future health status of adults. It’s not terribly surprising. The more unfavorable the events a child experiences, the more likely they'll struggle with physical and mental illnesses throughout life. These events include emotional, physical or sexual abuse, feeling unloved, substance abuse in the family, poverty, or abandonment.
But, some kids, despite all of the challenges they face, turn into healthy and successful adults. In a 30-year longitudinal study of children in Hawaii, one-third of the... Read More
A few months ago, I went to the Seattle Opera to see Mozart’s “The Marriage of Figaro”. I love the opera—the music, the costumes, the voices, and the spectacle. Not surprisingly, I noticed that the overwhelming majority of the audience was in my age group and beyond—graying adults. But I also observed that many of these opera-loving folks had trouble getting up those two flights of stairs at McCaw Hall! Many needed canes and walkers to get around.
I started to wonder—why do so many older... Read More
It’s so easy to focus on the disappointments in your life—both in the past and in the present. Our minds have a way of pulling these moments out of the closet, like old clothing, and putting them on, even if they don’t fit very well today. When we look in the mirror, we feel sad, angry, or hurt. Without intending to, we periodically find ourselves digging through this closet. It brings us pain.
In that regard, I am no different than anyone else. I can think about my parent’s divorce, my messy adolescent years, and my brother’s traumatic death. Like most adults, I’ve had my share of... Read More
